Excessive

So I think I left writing this way too late, as I'm already really tired, and pretty much ready for bed. Today was another weird day, filled with weird feelings.

I don't know where to start really... I didn't take a sleeping pill, and so I'm not really in writing mode, as generally speaking, being on a sleeping pill enhances my ability to write. I'll try anyway, as I've got to write, so I'll write.

I'm terribly miserable today. Yeah, I know, that sounds mighty dramatic of me, but it's the truth. I debated about wether or not to even write about how I've been feeling; It doesn't quite make me feel ashamed, but it's not something I feel awesome about openly talking about anymore. I figure it's only right to do it, because it's important that how I'm feeling is recorded to be looked back on in the future to recognize patterns or problems, or to see improvement or decline. So ya... feeling pretty down today. It's not really a.. uhh... depression, like.. a sadness or whatever, nothing like that. I just feel really low, really uninspired.

Today was an interesting day, wasn't too bad, kind of a typical day really.

I woke up and had breakfast, a couple pieces of dark rye and a coffee, and an apple sauce after. Yeah, very exciting, I know... I called a cab and left for work at 6:45am, getting there for 7am.

Today wasn't one of those days where I have a lot of interesting things to say, or deep thoughts to explore, 100% of today was work, and just work. I woke up, went to work, just got home 13 hours after I had left, and I've already taken a sleeping pill in order to get ready to sleep, so I can wake up and do it again tomorrow.

I don't feel like writing... I've got a headache for the fourth day in a row. I think this headache may be unrelated to the other three I had previously, because I worked a long ass shift without anything to eat all day, so that probably had something to do with it. Anyway, I napped for an hour and still feel terrible.. like really terrible. The worst part is that I'm out of sleeping pills, so I need to fall asleep naturally tonight, which is like... impossible for me, add that to having a headache and it's just going to be the worst night ever.

I usually write in front of the TV, with something like the Daily Show on as company, or maybe Jimmy Fallon, or Conan, but tonight I'm at my desk and it doesn't have quite the same feeling to it. I feel too focused... a lot of the time I just lean back and let thoughts come to me as I write, it sometimes takes up to an hour, and just sitting here, only writing, I dunno... not the same flow.

A low key day of laundry, gaming and relaxing. Work tomorrow 7-2.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about my reliance on sleeping pills... I mean it's easy enough to just not think about it and continue on as normal. I feel as though the fact that they aren't perscription pills makes it better... but, there is a downside to this reliance, and I just haven't figured it out yet.

Today was an interesting day, I suppose. I did my best to stick to a structured routine, and the result was a pretty good, fairly relaxing day.