Excessive

I don't even know where to begin, or what to write today.

Nothing bad happened at work today, which goes against what I was feeling yesterday. I figured something would happen to make it not enjoyable, but for most of the day it was just myself and Jon working away in the kitchen, doing what we do, without anyone bothering us or getting in our way.

I'm tired, overtired, super tired. I'm getting a headache, my eyes are heavy and I feel pretty dead. Work was lots of work and my shift was long and I, at some point, broke a bit. There is always that point in the day where you switch from running around tryin to get things done fast so you can go home on time, to accepting the fact that there is no hope, and that sense of semi-panic and urgency kind of fades away, and you just give up, it happens on all shifts over 8 hours I think...

I think today was a good day as far as my mood goes, but as a day, well, it wasn't quite as good as some days. Work was retardedly busy, and as per usual, manager expectations do not meet realistic standards and that leads to um... disagreements.

I think I might be feeling a bit better today, or at least, I didn't have enough free time to figure out if I was still not okay. That then perhaps makes me okay by default, since with no time to become completely introspective and obsess over things, overthink them, drive myself insane... I think work was a distraction, as I knew it would be, and it left me feeling a little less morose.

The last two days have been pretty bad for me, it has been exactly one month to the day since my last um... down period. It effects every aspect of my life; how I feel, what I do, the things I think, the things I dwell on and obsess over. I didn't want to feel like this so soon, luckily it wasn't as bad as last time, and I think I'm going to start feeling better soon.

Today has been kind of odd, not that great really. I've felt tired all day, no energy, I've barely been able to get myself to stand up, I've felt numb and apathetic. I haven't had an apetite, and I've little interest in anything.

Happy Birthday Jordan!

27, what?

Today wasn't so bad, for various reasons... it was a pretty good day, I didn't get a headache, I wasn't too tired, work wasn't too stressful, and I played a bunch of games after work, leading to a nice bath and now I'm watching Jimmy Fallon.

Today wasn't actually quite as bad as I had originally predicted, it wasn't quite as stressful, or as insane has I had thought it was going to be. It was kind of paced well, due to one of the lunches going very late, and taking forever to go through, which made the day seem to go by at a good rate, and never got to a point where I felt like my heart was going to explode.

A typical day off entry, I'll write about how I was lazy and relaxed and how I sat around playing games... expect the expected!

I woke up at a good time I think... pretty sure it was around 10:00am or so, I can't really remember. I got up, decided to play a bit of Ratchet and Clank until I got hungry, and then made a pretty good breakfast, of scrambled eggs, toast, bacon and hashbrowns. Oh yeah, and coffee... gotta have coffee with that, even though it's like 45 degrees in this apartment. Breakfast was good, and I watched the last episode of the Shield season 2 while I ate.